One Big Batty Family: First words
by Alice Grayson
Summary: One big batty family 1. Tim brings up MaryKay's parenting and Bruce gets accused of sleeping with barbra. Dick goes crazy and MarryKay says her first word.


I always wanted to write a fic series about a kid of night wings and oracles. So here's the first one in "one big batty family" series! Enjoy.

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"It's sort of weird how she's so quite."

Dick glared at Tim. "So what if she's quite. That's how babies should be." He ticked his silent nine-month-old daughter. "If she doesn't want to wail all night long and complain about every little thing like other babies then power to her I say."

It had been five years since war games, caticisum, and no mans land. Bruce was back in the batman suit, broody and moody as ever. Tim was still flying high as Robin, even at the ripe old age of twenty. Barbara, though confined to a wheel chair by the joker ten years ago, was still ragining on the war from behind a computer and the cyber modified voice of oracles. Dick was still nightwing, flying high with batman at times when he was short handed but mostly holding down the fort in Blüdhaven. He and Barbara had recently gotten married after a long on again off again relationship. It had been a small wedding with minimum bat family attendance. Nine months later little Mary-Kay was born into the rather against group. With curly strawberry blonde hair and eerily silent nature Tim along with many other people often wondered how she could be the production of Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson.

After all, these where the people who had once tried to shoot each other.

"It's just weird." Tim continued. Watching as the baby smiled. But didn't laugh. She never laughed. "I mean, I have never actually heard her make a sound. And every five minuets you or Bab's start to scream."

"We do not yell ever five minuets." Dick scowled.

"Fine. Five and three quarters. It's not like I've timed you, I'm just making a point."

"Your just mad because you will never be blessed with a child as wonderful as Kay." Dick then placed the baby on his knee and began to bounce her.

"Maybe you haven't been either."

"I have her right in my hands Tim." Dick countered. "I think I know where my own blessing hidden as a child is."

"I'm just saying, maybe she's not yours." Tim leaned back, ready for the explosion. "She's quite, cute, sweet, manageable, happy." He ticked the list off on his fingers. "That doesn't exactly scream Dick Grayson."

Dick threw a bottle at him. "Then whose do you propose she is? Roy's?" He laughed. "If he ever had a kid we might as well call this hell, because it would be the spawn of Satan."

Tim caught the bottle with ease." Not Roy. I was thinking more along the lines of maybe you know." He made a weird, exaggerated movement with his hands.

Dick stared.

"The boogie man?" he guessed.

Tim smacked him. "No HIM." He made the movement again.

"The joker?"

"Why, if your daughter is mute, would she be related to the joker."

"My daughters not mute!" Dick cried with indigence. "She's just quite." He lightly smoothed the strawberry curls on Kay's head. "And who do you think had sex with my wife, and produced MY daughter?"

"Bruce." Tim said with satisfaction, watching as the wheels in Dick's head began to turn.

"BAB'S DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH BRUCE!" Dick shouted in outrage. Missing both Tim's soft chuckle and the quiet giggle from Kay.

"Think about it man." Tim continued, moving his chair back slightly. "She's quiet, never laughs." Excluding at you. Tim thought to himself with a grin. "Just stairs at you half the time. Barley plays with any of her toys, likes to take things apart." He laughed softly. "She's a baby bat."

Dick frowned at him. "That's the most insulting thing you have ever said to me." He placed Kay on the ground and bent down to sit beside her. "We'll show uncle Tim wont we? We'll show him you love to talk, you just don't have anyone intelligent to talk to."

"Not excluding parental company I'm guessing?" Tim put in, watching his surgative brother with amusement; it was always fun to twist Dick out of shape when the TV was broken.

Dick ignored the smart-ass comment. "Come on Kay. Say Daddy. Dad-dy"

Mary Kay gives him a very odd and scared look.

"Com on hunny. Dad-dy. DAD-DY."He pulled the little girl closer to him. "Come on sweety. Just say daddy."

Mary Kay pushed lightly against his chest, trying to get him away from her.

"Another point to the bat. Not likening people in there space." Tim called out, watching as Dick tried to keep hold on the squirming nine month old.

"She's just nervous. You're making her nervous Tim." He said accusingly, almost losing his hold on her.

Tim paused. "Yes Dick." He said laughing slightly. "I'm sure it's me making her scared."

"Dick, what are you doing to Mary?"

"And the father returns!" Tim hissed at dick as Bruce steeped into the room, taking Mary-Kay out of his hands.

"You shouldn't call her that." Dick scowled, peeved because the man who may have stepped with his wife was now holding his maybe daughter.

"Why, it's her name." Bruce said, unconcerned with Dick's foul mood.

"Ya, but you're the only one who calls her 'marry' everyone else call's her Kay. You'll confuse her." Dick stood up and pulled his daughter out of Bruce's arms.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "She's not an idiot Dick." He took Mary Kay back. " Kay." He said firmly. Watching as her head turned towards him.

"That's only because you're holding her." Dick seethed, grabbing Mary Kay back. "She'd turn her head to anyone who talked all, foreboding and stuff."

"Mary: Tim said as bubbly and happy as possible. They all watched as the baby then turned to him, looking expectant.

"See Dick, she's not an idiot. She knows her name when she hears it." Bruce snatched the baby back, who by now was losing interest in this switching hands business.

"You think she'd be stupid because she may be my kid don't you?" Dick yelled. Throwing his hands up in the air.

"May?" Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Barbara cheated on you?"

"He thinks the babies yours." Tim laughed. "It would explain why she's smart."

"Shut it boy blunder." Dick fumed.

Bruce watched as his sergative sun began to pace. "Dick you can't be serious. First of all, questioning Barbara's faithfulness and then accusing me, who you and Tim have both called emotional incapable, of seducing your wife and fathering your baby."

"So you admit it then!" Dick roared, pointing at Bruce. "YOU SLEPT WITH MY WIFE!"

"WHAT!"

"Hello Barbara." Bruce said, handing her the baby. "Perhaps you would care to set your husband straight?"

"O, believe me I will." She rolled over to Dick, who had begun to back away. "You where listening to Tim again weren't you, after I pacifically told you that he says things like how he's a gay and has a crush on you, or that Kay isn't your daughter just to entertain himself." She began to rub the bridge of her nose. 'I'm so tired of you being such an idiot."

"So, she's my kid?" Dick asked. Looking at the strawberry blonde baby.

"Yes Dick. She's yours." Barbara couldn't help but laugh, it was much funnier when Dick had run away afraid that Tim might try and kiss him.

"So you didn't have sex with Bruce?"

"No Dick, no sex with Bruce or Batman. Only you and Nightwing."

"Good." Dick said hugging his wife, who had handed off Marry Kay to Bruce so she could wrap her arms around Dick's neck.

"Ba-man."

Everyone in the room went silent.

"Ba-man."

They all then turned towards the tiny girl in the emotionally inadequate mans arms. She was giggling and playing with the shiny buttons on his pressed dress shirt. "Ba-man Ba-man Ba-man."

"This proves nothing." Bruce said, placing the giggling baby into her stupefied fathers arms, and high tailing back to the manor before he went back into a rage.

And back into a rage he went. Tim smiled, now holding a sleeping infant in his arms as he watched the two adults brawl it out about the origin of there own daughter. "Good work Kay." He whispered to the slumbering little girl. "Next week I'll teach you to say huntress and we'll really have some fun!"

END!

For now.

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Ah, Tim's a evil little scamp…anyways Review!

POMM


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